i would not want to be named bert because every time you made a decision someone would be like are you sherbert
your name is bert isnt it
What are you doing. What are you doing. What have you done.
you’re telling me i can make BLACK SLUDGE THAT TASTES LIKE OREOS!?
PRETEND IT’S LEVIATHAN BLOOD
There are two kinds of people….
if you just walked into a club and the floor was super slippery and people had strapped knives to their feet and were jumping around you’d be like “holy shit, i don’t know if this is the environment for me” and yet skating is a thing
Who taught me to suck in my stomach,
or my cheeks?
Who told me to stand with my legs apart
and my hips thrust back
to create the illusion of a gap
between my thighs?
Who made me believe that the most beautiful part of me
is my negative space?
people get so caught up on one small thing they don’t like, like their nose or something
things like salt and baking powder go into a cake and those things are gross alone but the cake is pretty damn delicious
this is the most confidence boosting text post i’ve ever read